Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
B**t*rds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird
has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For
now…
mars 24th, 2009 at 21:15
Hein ?
mars 24th, 2009 at 21:50
Faut lire hein
mars 24th, 2009 at 21:54
Moi à partir de demain, je t’envoie tous mes sms en Hébreux, histoire de voir.
Inutile de te dire que j’ai absolument rien lu
mars 25th, 2009 at 14:08
Je lis pas les articles en anglais, je te rappelle qu’on est en France ici
Non en vrai je boycotte l’anglais depuis que je hais ma prof.